Monday, November 1, 2010

American Upper Class Twits are the Cause of Country's the Immigration Problem

A deservedly famous sketch of the British comedy troupe Monty Python is their scathingly satirical "Upper Class Twit of the Year.' The five Brits had no illusions about the upper crust in their society, they knew they're a bunch of twits.
Americans appear to not have figured that out yet here across the pond. Let me help.
Maybe "twit' is too British. We need to come up with a suitable word to capture the unique qualities of upper class idiocy in America.
I used to live and work in West Virginia. I worked with a sports writer at the Bluefield Daily Telegraph who grew up in McDowell County. He would tell me that some of the people in his hometown looked like the kid on the bridge in the movie "Deliverance.'
The result of inbreeding, he said. The same inbreeding happened with our upper class. Since these elites came across the pond in the 1600's to settle in the New World, they have been inbreeding. That's why our Founding Fathers consistently come off looking better than our upper class today. Every day we see evidence of more than 300 years of inbreeding.
The immigration problem is the latest piece of evidence of how densely stupid rich people are in America. It used to be that rich people could tell who their servants were by the color of their skin or by their accent (i.e. if they had an Irish accent).
It is very important for rich people to know who their servants are, otherwise they might accidentally treat them decently.
The freeing of slaves and the civil rights movement have made life confusing for rich people. Someone with black skin could be college educated and an Irishman could even become president.
Something had to be done. Rich people need to know who to be condescending to and who they can order around. It is their birthright to be waited on hand, foot and mouth (sounds like a disease doesn't it?)
It is much easier for rich people to identify their servants if they don't speak English. If they do speak the language then an accent not learned in an Ivy league prep school is required. The immigration trend in the last thirty years has been to encourage immigration from Mexico, Central and South America.
This has worked out well for rich people. Maybe not so well for the immigrants. Rich people are happy because they don't have to pay the new immigrants much or give them any benefits. Educated American workers have this nasty habit of wanting to get paid a decent wage, not to mention wanting an occasional day off.
Somewhere out there is an appropriate term we here in America can use to describe our upper class twits. Sports team owner? Network TV executive? Oil company CEO? Wall Street broker? U.S. Senator? Ivy League cheerleader?
Those are occupations, won't work. Any suggestions?


  1. How about Social Register sillies or debutards? Debutard only works for girls, however, since it combines "debutante" and "retard".

  2. Good choices, Jay M. They are sophisticated and satirical. I tend toward the crude and rude. Thanks.