A Glitch in the Matrix

In the middle of surfing the Internet, my computer screen went blank. Then two error messages scrolled across the screen. Then it looked like a scene from 'The Matrix' as the screen filled with green text.

"This can't be good," I thought. After running the diagnostic program for three hours, I got a message that my computer needed to see Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Obi-Wan was busy, so I went to the next best thing, the Geek Squad. I described to the young professional in black pants, white shirt and thin black tie what had happened.

"You had a file dump."

"My computer took a dump?" I replied, except I didn't say 'dump.' I used a Saxon word.

"Pretty much. It probably caught a real bad virus and got sick."

"Can you heal, excuse me, repair it?"

After getting a 'maybe' diagnosis and leaving the computer in the hands of the computer mystics, I felt I needed a walk.

My partner and I like to walk along the river and the wetlands adjoining the river. I have learned a lot about what I used to call 'swamp'. Wetlands are teeming with life, serving as a filter between the salt water from the ocean and fresh water from the land.

At one point on the trail they built a bridge over the wetlands that gives you a closer look at the ecosystem. You can see mush rats, egrets, and so many varieties of birds I am becoming a 'birder' to keep track of them.

At the end of the bridge there is a place where a memorial has sprung up. Last week a 19-year old, despondent over a failed relationship, hung himself. Every day since then, when I walk the bridge, I come across young people in small groups, gathered and grieving.

They always move out of my way and apologize. I apologize to them for intruding. They usually smile and reply "You're not," or "It's OK" or "No problem." They are all good kids, struggling to make sense with the loss of a friend and classmate.

It always reminds of the people I have known who have ended their own life. I can remember at least three in high school. As older and more jaded adults, we often forget how deep and raw emotions are when you are young and experiencing things for the first time.

We all get wounded. Some of us get flesh wounds that may leave a scar. Some of us get deep wounds and are crippled. And some of us receive fatal wounds.

Walking home, I thought of the kids on the bridge and of the Matrix. And of Obi-Wan. I have theories about suicide, and you may suspect they are heretical. And you would be right.