I have spent the last two days trying to get our son's car registered with the Motor Vehicle commission. In New Jersey, the second most corrupt state in the country (we try harder), the MVC has a Byzantine reputation.
Scandals involving MVC employees running a black market in fake driver licenses and horrific delays cause every governor to promise reform. It gets a little better for awhile, then plummets back into darkness between campaigns.
Somewhere, the concept of public service got lost. MVC employees are imperious, autocratic, tyrannical and thoroughly unpleasant. Marge Simpson's sisters are everywhere, lurking behind every window, telling you after a three-hour wait you are in the wrong line or don't have the right form.
This is odd, because the first thing you do upon entering is wait in line to talk to the employee at the information desk to find out what you need. It's either a conspiracy to annoy you or the MVC employees are inept beyond belief.
Rich people do not wait in line at the MVC. They have people do it for them, usually car dealers. Car dealers have their own line and it always moves the fastest. It reminded me of the latest scandal involving sexual groping at airports. Rich people don't go through security. They have their own private jets that leave from their own private airports.
It's only us poor folk who have to wait in line all day. The line was so long the first day that it wound around the parking lot outside for an hour or two. The good thing was it didn't rain, the bad thing was a lot of people were smoking.
Second day, the good thing was nobody smoked outside and the bad thing was it rained. It rained so hard and the wind was so strong umbrellas were useless. I had stashed the necessary paperwork in a plastic bag, anticipating the rain.
But it didn't do me any good. When I finally got to see a clerk, I was told I needed an additional form. I asked, as politely as I could, why I was not told about the additional form the previous day.
The clerk explained that somebody should have told me. She then spent another fifteen minutes trying to find the employee who gave me the incorrect information. When this employee was found (why it was necessary to do so is beyond me) she insisted it was my fault.
I felt like doing a John Cleese Basil Fawlty impersonation, but I was convinced in this climate I would get arrested.
I tried, again politely, to explain that I was highly motivated the day before to find out exactly what I had to do so I wouldn't have to come back a third time. The MVC employee then admitted she may have made a mistake. But it was my fault for not explaining my situation better.
I needed a license plate for my son's car, for crying out loud! It's not that complicated. At this point, I stopped being polite. I have learned the hard way that if you are polite in Jersey, people view it as a sign of weakness and they either ignore you or try and take advantage of you.
My paperwork got initialed and I was told I wouldn't have to wait outside in line when I came back. I told them that's what I was told the day before. I left the MVC convinced that the human race is not capable of competence.
Everywhere we turn, government, business, the military, Wall Street, there is incompetence and mediocrity. The latest leaks about our government in action are not flattering.
What has happened to our once proud, industrious nation? Maybe we're not a democracy anymore, maybe the comedy film "Idiocracy' got it right. Have we have degenerated into a country of citizens that allow torture of prisoners and sexual molestation in airports?
Maybe we don't deserve the bald eagle as a national emblem. Sheep is more fitting. Everybody say "baaa."
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