Getting Rid of Bad Drivers, Mr. B's Solution

Good evening. Today, in our ongoing series 'Eliminating Bad Drivers from Society' we look at solutions to the problem. Our guest is Mr. Poobody, an expert on hanging his head out car windows.

Interviewer (I): Mr. Poobody, you are a dog, is that correct?

Mr. Pooboody (B): Please call me Mr. B.

I: Mr. B, how long have you been a dog?

B: My whole life.

I: In our series, we have discussed drivers who text while driving, who tailgate, who don't signal when changing lanes, who fall asleep at stoplights, who don't undertsand yield rules, who go 40 mph in residential areas, who use cell phones while driving. You claim to have a solution to all these examples of bad driving?

B: Yes.

I: Do you drive?

B: No, I just stick my head out the window when my human remembers to open it.

I: Your human?

B: No, I'm a dog.

I: What?

B: I've already told you I'm a dog. I own a human, though. Humans aren't very intelligent. They need owners to tell them what to do.

I: Huh? ... Moving on, what is your solution to bad driving?

B: Eliminate automatic transmissions, power steering and power brakes.

I: But ... but ... that would make driving hard.

B: That's the point. You humans would have to actually pay attention to what you're doing.

I: It would be a tough sell.

B: It would work. Humans would have to use two hands and two feet to drive. Their bodies and minds would have to be involved in the driving process. Distractions are the single largest cause of accidents.

I: We want driving to be easy so we can do other things while we're driving.

B: As mentioned earlier, you are not an intelligent species.

I: We were hoping you could suggest a slogan we could put on a bumper sticker.