Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Got Rapture? May 22 Meet October 22, the Great Disappointment of 1844



As you all know by now, I'm a Heretic. But I'm also pragmatic. Logistics matter to me. Logistics are why I didn't believe in Santa Claus when I was five years old.

The concept of a fat man in a sleigh driven by reindeer landing on my roof, sliding down a tight chimney and delivering presents never made sense. First, we didn't have a chimney. Second, while it might make sense on an individual level, it made no sense on the collective level. There would have to be thousands of Santas to deliver the amount of presents bought in my town alone, much less the country or world.

Logistically, the rapture makes no sense whatsoever. Classifying it as 'religious' does not excuse it for being profoundly wrong.

A preacher in 1844 prophesied the end of the world and the rapture, ala Harold Camping. He picked a date, Oct 22, 1844. People sold everything they had and waited for Jesus to 'come on the clouds and lift them up to heaven.' It didn't happen. It was the called the Great Disappointment (May 22 needs its own moniker, doesn't it?)

If you do the research, you can find hundreds of other 'disappointments' throughout history. Remember Y2K? What amazes me is that anybody pays any attention at all to any prediction of the end of the world. Obsession with the 'end of the world' is psychologically unstable, emotionally unhealthy, spiritually unsound and logistically challenged.

Remember James Watts, Reagan's Secretary of Interior? Google him. Have fun.

The problem with the rapture is conceptual. It's a bad idea. Good people can get caught up in bad ideas and do bad and stupid things.

First, it shows the dangers of basing a theology on one biblical quote, taking it out of context, and then projecting our own emotional and psychological needs on it.

Second, according to one religious group obsessed with the rapture, only 144,000 will be raptured. Since the faithful dead go first, and more than 144,000 faithful have died, why would anyone join this group? All the slots are filled.


The debate over the rapture is a ridiculous waste of time. Please observe that Christian leaders did not say that Harold Camping was wrong about the rapture, they just said he got the date wrong. This is because the kind of Christianity that became dominant in the west after the ninth century is psychologically unstable (see Mel Gibson), emotionally unhealthy, and spiritually unsound.

There are many Christianities. The type that we pick and choose says more about us than it does God or Jesus. Not all Christianities are psychologically unstable, emotionally unhealthy and spiritually unsound. But the kind that is obsessed with the rapture is.




Next: Christianity has nothing to do with Jesus. Really. Check it out.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Harmon Killebrew Died Today



Harmon Killebrew died today. He was 74. He was a professional baseball player from 1954 to 1975. He hit 573 home runs. He started out playing for the Washington Senators. The Senators moved to Minnesota in 1961. Harmon played for the Twins until 1974.
Instead of retiring when the Twins management thought he should, he played one more year for the Kansas City Royals. As a kid collecting baseball cards and playing Strat-O-Matic baseball, I kept Harmon on the Twins. It didn't matter that he batted .199 that year, he still hit 14 home runs in 369 at bats.
Like a lot of Twins fans, I loved Harmon Killebrew. Even though he was born in Idaho, he embodied many things Minnesotan. He was humble. He was a team player. And he could hit a baseball farther than anyone.
My first baseball memories were in 1965 when the Twins played the Dodgers in the World Series. Sadly, we had just moved from Minnesota to Virginia and I didn't get to go to any of the games. But my grandfather went. He showed me the programs later.
The Twins lost to the Dodgers in seven games, as they couldn't hit Sandy Koufax or Don Drysdale (well, Harmon did). I remember I was a teenager in Virginia and listened to the game on the radio when Harmon hit home run number 500 against Mike Cuellar of the Baltimore Orioles in 1971. Back then, the Orioles were a great team, they beat the Twins in 1969 and 1970 in the American League Championship series.
Harmon never did win a World Series. But he won the hearts and minds of Twins fans forever. He was the heart and soul of the team. The following quote from umpire Ron Luciano summed up what people who played with him thought about him:
"He was one of the most feared sluggers in baseball history, but he was also one of the nicest people to play the game. He was one of the few players who would go out of his way to compliment umpires on a good job, even if their calls went against him."
In an era before steroids and rampant drug use, Killebrew had some remarkable seasons. Here's the stat line on his 1969 MVP season:
Played in 162 games, 109 runs scored, 49 home runs, 140 rbi's, 145 walks and struck out only 84 times. For those who love stats, his OPS was 1.011 (on base percentage plus slugging percentage)
Harmon Killebrew will be missed. He was a Hall of Fame player and world-class human being. A role model for many. He was for me. Thanks, Harmon. For all the memories. For everything.

Monday, May 9, 2011

Wassup Bin Laden? Random Thoughts on Osama/Obama

RANDOM THOUGHT #1

Apparently, George Washington slept a lot. When he wasn't running away from the British. New Jersey is full of places where George Washington slept. One of them is outside of Morristown. In a park. Well, it's a park now.

In 1999, when Dad and I visited Morristown to check out Drew Seminary in nearby Madison (yes, Drew University is on Madison Avenue) we went to this park. The locals said on a clear day you could see the tops of the Twin Towers. It was a clear, windy day. We saw the tops of the Twin Towers. It was impressive.

RANDOM THOUGHT #2

I have enjoyed listening to conservatives twist themselves into pretzels over Obama being president when Osama got whacked. Just a reminder that partisans don't make very good Americans.

RANDOM THOUGHT #3

I have enjoyed listening to liberals sound like a bunch of jingoistic thugs. Killed the bastard, yeah! Just a reminder that partisans don't make very good Americans.

RANDOM THOUGHT #4

The Sunday after the Twin Towers went down I was scheduled to preach a sermon as a guest preacher at a small congregation in upstate New York. The minister there, a good friend of mine, thought it best that we cancel our regularly scheduled program and deal with what just happened. He invited me to do the New Testament reading.

I read Matthew 5:43-48. Nobody shook my hand after the service. Nobody even looked at me as they filed out. Just a reminder that when push comes to shove, religious people can abandon core principles in a heartbeat.

RANDOM THOUGHT #5

I don't think there's any truth to the rumor that it was Dick Cheney that shot Bin Laden in the face. That's not fair. It's well known that Dick Cheney only shoots FRIENDS in the face.

RANDOM THOUGHT #6

There may be some truth to the rumor that former Navy SEAL Jesse Ventura shot Bin Laden in the face. I met Jesse Ventura at a book signing last month. He still looks like he could kill people. With his bare hands.

RANDOM THOUGHT #7

Secular rulers and religious extremists are often allies. The Saudi Royal family probably funded Osama Bin Laden. The Saudi Royal family probably ordered the attacks of 9/11. Most of the those alleged to have hijacked the planes on 9/11 were Saudis.

RANDOM THOUGHT #8

Since the oil crisis in the 1970s, our government has taken orders from the Saudis.When our leaders meet their leaders, it is apparent who is giving orders and who is taking orders.

RANDOM THOUGHT #9
The Israeli intelligence service knew about the 9/11 attacks beforehand. They were there to film it as it happened. This was widely published in Israeli newspapers. Not so much in American newspapers.

RANDOM THOUGHT #10

Offered as evidence that the American government takes orders from the Saudis, the Bin Laden family was picked up in various locations throughout the country and flown to safety while air traffic was shut down across the country.

RANDOM THOUGHT #11

I don't think President Bush knew about the attacks beforehand.

RANDOM THOUGHT #12

I remember in 2001 Jesse Ventura saying we needed to send a SEAL or Ranger team in and whack Osama.

RANDOM THOUGHT #13

I remember a seminary professor telling me on 9/12 that he was worried the Bush administration would take advantage of the situation and do away with a lot of our civil rights and civil liberties.

RANDOM THOUGHT #14

It makes sense that the U.S. invaded Iraq because the Saudis wanted Hussein out of the way. The reasons the U.S. government gave the American people never made any sense.

RANDOM THOUGHT #15

The American people have acted like brain-dead zombies the past 10 years. Maybe now with Osama Bin Laden out of the way, we can regain our composure and realize how badly our government has screwed us over the last 10 years.

RANDOM THOUGHT #16

Speaking of zombies, 'Zombieland' is a really good movie. Any movie where one of the heroes gets a Twinkie at the end rocks. Bill Murray is awesome in his cameo as well.